Around 20 years ago, I was severely addicted to the gangstar rap music by a certain hip hop artist.
I would go to Church and genuinely sing worship songs to God from the bottom of my heart and then I would go home and a strong urge to listen to the rap music would hit me. I would then put on this rapper's music and sing his songs which have lyrics filled with violence and obscenities.
This really disturbed me because I felt that it was innately wrong to enjoy listening and singing gangster rap music but at the same time, I did not know how to overcome the strong urges that kept drawing me back to this rapper's music.
I was so addicted to this gangster rapper's music that regardless of whether I was in New York or in Nairobi, I had to buy every tape or CD (this was before the era of DVDs) of his music that I came across.
I distinctly remember one occasion when I was rushing to the airport to catch a plane and I heard a mixed tape of his music that I had never heard before. I entered the shop and said that I wanted that tape. The shop attendants told me that it was not for sale as it was a demo tape. I then told them that I would not leave the shop until they sold it to me. I then went and stood at the shop's entrance with my luggage since the shop did not even have lighting and I could not even tell what they were selling.
After standing there for a few minutes, they sent a big man (around 7 foot and 350 pounds) to get me out of the doorway and when I saw him approaching me I said the same thing, "I AM NOT LEAVING HERE UNTIL YOU SELL THAT TAPE TO ME". Mind you this man could have picked me and my luggage with one hand and thrown me into the street but I do not know what the man saw in me (weighing 140 pounds) but he looked at the young men behind the counter and told them to give it to me. They named their price, I paid and proceeded to run to the airport.
Thinking back I see how I was possessed by this rapper's music because I could not move from that spot. It was as if I was fixed there until I got that music and it did not matter whether I missed my flight because I just had to buy his music.
Note that as I was insisting on buying that tape, I always traveled with a walkman and several CDs of that rapper and so it was not that I did not have his music with me.
In addition, when I got home after my travels, the first thing I always checked when I got into my house was my stack of his music that I had not carried with me. I would check to see if it was safe even before I checked to see if my other valuables in the house were safe because I valued his music so very much.
In addition, posters of this musician filled the walls of my house.
In restrospect I realize that I had made my home his altar. Therefore learn from my mistake and look at what is hanging on the walls of your home if you are seeking deliverance from anything. It is best to hang Christian posters with Bible Verses and preferably Deliverance Bible Verses.
Click here to read Christian Home Decor
Click here to read How to Sanctify your Home
Addicted and Saved
It is important to note that at this time I had given my life to Jesus Christ but I had not told anyone about it because I knew how deep I was into this man's music. Consequently the people I lived with did not judge me about listening to this rap music day and night because they did not know that I was saved.I would like to urge you not to give up on your salvation even if you are addicted to something bad. This is because even though I was sinning by listening to gangster music, I kept holding onto my salvation. I kept going to Church and Christian Crusades and anywhere where the Word of God was being preached and I believe that clinging onto God even though sin had a strong hold on me helped me get free eventually.
I thank God that I did not condemn myself that since I was still addicted to gangsta rap music I was not worthy to go to Church or to praise and worship God. Therefore do not also condemn yourself if yourself when you are struggling with an addiction. Persist and praying and seeking the presence of God because you do not know how or when your deliverance will come.
I thank God that I also did not condemn myself for being a hypocrite because I was singing praise songs to God in Church and then going home and singing gangstar rap songs as this would have made me backslide and leave Church.
I did not condemn myself because I knew in my heart that God knew of my struggle with this evil music and I knew that He knew how strongly it had a hold on me. I also knew that God knew I was not pretending when I was praising Him in Church because He could read my heat for God looks at the heart.
Therefore do not give up on your salvation if you are saved and struggling with any type of addiction.
Know that We do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses because He was tempted just as we are and yet He was without sin.
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace so that we may obtain mercy and grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16)
So come boldly to God in prayer so that you can get mercy and grace to help you in your time of need.
It is also important to declare that at this period in my life I used to go to a Pentecostal Church and I never shared with anyone in my Church my addition to rap music.
The lesson here is that it is wise to share your addiction struggles with a trustworthy mature Christian in your church as they can give you tips on how to deal with your struggles.
However during the current Coronavirus pandemic when most churches have been closed around the world, you can talk to an Online Christian Counselor.
Click here to read How to Survive the Coronavirus Pandemic
My Deliverance From Gangster Rap Music
God delivered me from my addiction to rap music in stages.
I believe that a Dr. Juanita Bynum crusade helped me break this rap music addiction because we left the venue confessing, "I will never be the same again, I will never be the same again, I will never be the same again."
Though when I got home I was still listening to that gangster music, I believe the transformation begun that day because I felt something had happened during that crusade though I was not sure what.
The important lesson here is that sometimes God delivers people in stages. Yes, He can deliver people instantly but sometimes God delivers people in stages.
Click here to read Deliverance Can Come In Stages Part 1
Click here to read Deliverance Can Come In Stages Part 2
Therefore, if you attend a healing crusade or a church service (online or offline) and the preacher pronounces healing and you feel that that Word of Knowledge is for you, you have to receive it and believe it even if they are speaking to hundreds of people who are present in person or thousands who are watching them online.
This is because sometimes God sends the miracle but it can take time to reach and be manifested in a person's life.
We can see a good example when the Israelites were crossing the Jordan River because God told that when the priests carrying the ark stood in the Jordan, He would stop its waters. The priests went and stood in the overflowing waters and The waters stood still and rose in a heap very far away at Adam. (Joshua 3:14-16)
Bible scholars tells us that Adam was around 20 miles (32 km) from where the priests were. This means that waters from 20 miles of the river Jordan had to pass by them first before the place they were standing became dry ground.
As these 20 miles of water were passing they had to remain standing in faith in the middle of the flooded River Jordan while being fully convinced that God would do what He had said He would do because they may not had known that He had already stopped the waters 20 miles from where they were standing.
Therefore if God tells you something either directly or through one of His servants, you have to continue believing that Word from God and continue confessing it even if your reality is still the same until it comes to pass.
Abraham did not water at the promise of God through unbelief. But he was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God while being fully convinced that what God had promised He was able to perform. (Romans 4:20-21)
One day after the Juanita Bynum Crusade (I can't remember whether it was months or years), I woke up with a strong urge to burn my entire collection of gangster rap music. I collected them and went outside. However, I got an idea to first break the CDs into pieces and as I bent the first one I felt excruciating pain in my wrist.
The pain was so severe that it was as if I was cutting my own hand with a knife. Consequently, I could not proceed with the breaking or burning of the gangser rap music CDs because of the severe physical pain that I felt.
However, though I had failed in my goal of destroying the CDs, I still felt I had achieved something because I had been able to contemplate the thought of burning that musics is because previously, I would stop talking to people just because they said bad things about this rap musician who I had never met because my dedication to his music.
Christian Rap Music
One day after the failed CD burning attempt (I can't remember whether it was months or years), I got a great idea to listen to Christian rap music during the times I normally would listen to gangster rapper - which was mainly in the morning while preparing to go to work and after work in the evening. The first musician that I listened to was Kirk Franklin and the album that set me free from Gangstar Rap Music was Kirk Franklin's The Nu Nation Project.
All the songs in this album resonated with my spirit and I found myself listening to it almost every day for a very long time.This songs in this album are: 1. Interlude: The Verdict 2. Revolution 3. Lean On Me 4. Something About The Name Jesus 5. Riverside 6. He Loves Me 7. Gonna Be A Lovely Day 8. Praise Joint (remix) 9. Hold Me Now 10. You Are 11. Interlude: The Car (stomp) 12. If You've Been Delivered 13. Smile Again 14. Love (remix) 15. My Desire 16. Blessing In The Storm 17. I Can
I love all of them but my favorite is STOMP which you can watch here on YouTube.
Finally one day after listening on Kirk Franklin on repeat, I woke up with the urge to burn my stack of gangsta rap music. I carried it all outside and burnt it without feeling pain in any part of my body and I was totally delivered.
The craving to listening to that music disappeared and I can pass by shops blasting his music without being drawn in to buy it.
The lesson here is that if you are addicted to music of any genre that does not glorify God or music that convicts you, overcome the addiction by listening to Christian music from that genre.
If you are addicted to secular rap music, begin listening to Christian rap music.
If you are addicted to secular reggae music, begin listening to Christian reggae music.
If you are addicted to secular rock music, begin listening to Christian rock music.
If you are addicted to secular lingala music, begin listening to Christian lingala music.
If you are addicted to secular heavy metal music, begin listening to Christian heavy metal music.
To help you overcome addiction to rap music here are some of the top Christian hip hop artists that you can listen to:
1. Kirk Franklin
2. Tye Tribbett
3. Lecrae
4. KB
5. Kamban
6. Keno Camp
7. Hard Az Nailz
Never Give Up
Never give up on God helping you regardless of the number of times you have tried to break free from addiction to gangsta music or anything else for that matter. This is because addictions are bondages from the devil and when you give up on God, where will you get help from?So regardless of how long you have struggled with your addiction, continue praying, praising God and going to Church and seeking help.
Continue doing these things and one day the chains will fall off just as they did for me and I was able to go for 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 year, 1 decade without craving gangsta rap music or listening to it.
Continue praying and praising God even when you are bound by the chains of addiction as you emulate Paul and Silas who were bound and chains and locked in jail but at midnight they were praising God and there was a great earthquake which set them free.
Combine praying and praising God with believing that one day you will be free as you do something physical to set yourself free.
Fulfill your Purpose
The Bible tells us that David served the purposes of God for his generation and I would like to urge you to do what God is calling you to do even if no one has done it before.I believe that when Kirk Franklin begun to sing and produce Christian rap music and Christian hip hop music, he may have received a lot of opposition at the beginning because this was not the norm.
However, by persisting in doing what God had called him to do his Music Ministry has set me free and other people for I have read testimonies of people who have been positively impacted by his music.
Therefore, if you feel a strong urge to use your gift in a certain way that no one has done before, if it glorifies God do not let the voices within and outside you muffle you.
To help you with this read How to Know and Fulfill Your Purpose.
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